Brain Tired – Sleep Hygiene

Posted on Categories:Anxiety, Depression, Difficulty, Interpersonal Issues, Mental Health, Social Media, Struggle, Worry

Brain Tired – Sleep Hygiene

Kevin Phillips

People will often tell me how they have difficulty concentrating, how depressed they are, how angry they are and how they have anxiety. They go on to tell me how easily frustrated they become and how irritable they are and how they want to change. Sometimes people put pressure on me like they need me to come up with some wiz banger, re-invent the wheel concept or phenomenon that will cure all their problems. I understand the sentiment as I yearn to help but sometimes we can overthink and gloss over simple common-sense interventions that our grandparents seemed to inherently know about. Sometimes we get too complicated in seeking answers and we espouse that one has to be some kind of guru to find the answers. In my close to 20 years studying, observing and talking to thousands of patients about their struggles, I have discovered a profound trend. Sometimes our mental health difficulties can be diminished, ameliorated for and greatly improved by consistent, ongoing sleep quality and getting enough sleep. But there’s plenty to take away from our sleep quality: 1) work pressures 2) family squabbles 3) relationship friction 4) financial problems 5) Covid worries 5) the Russians attacking Ukraine and whether that war will spill over into other countries and whether our gas and food prices will go up 6) keeping up with social media and how good we look on Facebook and on and on. Oftentimes our phones, tablets and devices keep us looking at stuff even when we’re tired. We don’t get rest and rejuvenation anymore. When’s the last time we went a few hours without our cellphones? Studies have shown that if people for example continue to use their devices up until they go to sleep it takes their brain about two hours to reach the relaxation stages of sleep. So if you want to sleep better, quit using your electronic devices and phones about two hours before you desire to fall asleep and create other healthy and balanced bedtime routines like reading or talking or painting or writing or taking a soothing bath. We need to stop the merry-go-round, the hamster wheel and the rat race and chill. If we don’t learn to chill before we go to bed and relax our brains, we’ll continue to build anxiety into our lives and invite its cousin along for the ride – depression. Some of us may need a sleep aid to help us get into a routine of good sleep. I encourage you to talk to your pharmacist, doctor or family and friends to see what they use. Most of the sleep aids can be purchased over-the-counter although some may have to be prescribed by doctors or nurse practitioners. All of us make sure we’re doing our personal hygiene frequently so we smell better, are more healthy and to be honest to not offend our peers. Why don’t we consider working on our sleep hygiene more effectively so we can feel more alert, more mentally sharp, more emotionally in control, more calm and more resilient to handle the difficult world we live in? Sometimes we don’t have to seek far-flung cures, methods and fancy interventions, we just need more sleep! Sleep on it and see how you feel about it tomorrow

Setting The Trajectory

Posted on Categories:Anxiety, Control, Encouragement, Faith, Fear, Hope, Mental Health, Peace, Struggle, Worry, Worth

Setting The Trajectory

Kevin Phillips

Have you ever asked yourself, “where am I going in life, what’s my purpose, what do I want to accomplish, what kind of person do I want to be or become?” Growing up I always marveled at people who somehow inherently knew what they wanted to do in life. My daughter for example has known since she was in elementary school that she wanted to be an elementary school teacher. In high school I could never relate to other students who knew what they wanted to do and what they wanted to study in college. I felt like I was on the outside looking in. I didn’t understand why I had no idea what to do in life. It was so frustrating and at times I kind of felt like a loser. I really didn’t know that my calling was to be a therapist/counselor until my late 30’s, wow talk about a late bloomer. But after I reflected on this meandering way of settling upon a profession, I realized that all my frustrations and confusion and life experiences gave me the ability to become a better, more effective, real therapist that could relate to people. Then I started to realize that as individuals we need to set a trajectory for ourselves. If not, where are we flying to, where are we going, what do we stand for, what’s the purpose?

Anger Is Not Necessarily Bad

Posted on Categories:Encouragement, Hope, Mental Health, Struggle

Anger Is Not Necessarily Bad

Kevin Phillips

The following is a quote from T.D Jakes in his book entitled, Let It Go, “Often anger helps us to confront what we would otherwise ignore. Occasionally, I hear people teach others to simply move on from an offense and forget it. But the truth of the matter is it’s difficult to move on when you haven’t had your say. The lack of closure can become a sticking point that keeps you attached to an incident from which you need to be free”. Anger is a natural emotion, an emotion that can either be bad and destructive or good and constructive depending on how one expresses it and acts upon it. Let’s be honest for a minute; if we have lived a few years, we have probably seen ourselves use anger in a right and constructive way and we have probably seen ourselves use anger is not so good ways. Hopefully in our lives the good greatly out-weighs the bad. It only takes seconds for anger to get the best of us. Anger can move us to do and say some pretty stupid things and create great pain. Anger can destroy parent/child relationships, rob marriages, zap work-place camaraderie, create drama. Anger can destroy sports teams, organizations and just about everything else man puts his hands too. Anger is often borne out of our trauma, broken relationships, from our parents’ neglect and craziness, failed opportunities, people cheating on us and otherwise letting us down. It becomes apparent, as we mature and gain insight and perspective, that we as individuals deserve and need to eradicate unhealthy, painful and destructive anger out of our character before, like Covid, it infects everything around us. If we’re not careful, we’ll wake up one day and discover that our unhealthy anger has destroyed the better parts of what we long for.

Neurodivergent: Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder

Posted on Categories:ADHD, Hope, Mental Health

Written by Bianca Gurciullo
Executive Assistant of Encouragement Now Ministries

“The difference between something good and something great is attention to detail.”

~ Charles R. Swindoll

 

Growing up, many of us never heard about or knew there were neurodivergences such as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). Those who suffered from this attention deficit were just told to pay attention and settle down or face consequences. I know because I was an excellent example of an ADHDer’s ability to mask my symptoms. I used to think of myself as a chameleon when I realized how good I was at hiding my problems and being what people expected me to be. 

The Captain of Encouragement

Posted on Categories:Encouragement, Mental Health

Written by Kevin J. Phillips
Founder of Encouragement Now Ministries 

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”

~ Helen Keller

 

I remember playing sports growing up until I blew out my knee skating. At times we were losing and knew we were done for. But there were always a few team members who had unbelievable, never-give-up attitudes and radiated positivity. They always carried an aura of, “We can do this!”

No matter what the scoreboard read, they would come into the huddle and everyone started to feel better, and more confident. The impossible would feel possible. Within a few plays or a couple of good defensive stops, their can-do attitudes started to spread like wildfire to the other team members. All of a sudden, we had a rally going. We began scoring again. The more we scored, the more encouraged and energetic we got. I think about my team members a few decades later, and it still inspires me today. 

Discouragement is a Liar

Posted on Categories:Encouragement, Mental Health

Written by Bianca Gurciullo
Executive Assistant of Encouragement Now Ministries

“Depression begins with disappointment. When disappointment festers in our soul, it leads to discouragement.”
~ Joyce Meyer

 

We all get discouraged, don’t we? Life often ebbs and flows; many find themselves on the mountaintop one day and in a valley the next! We don’t want to get discouraged and don’t like how this inconsistency makes us feel, but we are all susceptible to it because of our flawed and fallen human nature. 

We’ve also inherited discouragement tendencies from people in our lives. It’s a fact that life’s circumstances can shape our mindsets, but as children of God, we are told not to be discouraged, so how do we not allow it to overtake us?